Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Devil's Plaything: 'Floyd a reprise'

The Other day being bugged up and sweaty cause of heat I decided to make this summer afternoon big. For these occasions I always hold an ace up my sleeve. 'In Floyd I trust.' This music is always a trip, literally. It took me out to places not often visited; and those too the ones beyond my level of understanding. By the end of first album I felt like I had been to places and lived an entire lifetime outside of the one I currently lead. It was a sort of split personality. I always wanted to be there but here I was. I felt as if I had found definition in the universe and my emotions had gone the full spectrum, from absolutely stupefied to absolutely jubilant!I was on to infinite understanding which embarked in me overwhelming relief and happiness. I recognized feelings that I had left somewhere while growing up (the sense of sucurity, admiration, love and dependency that I had for my parents).

The trip gave me perspective on everything and made me understand the level to which a person changes, although everything remains a part of myself. I could not help but feel that I had been in this (tripping out) state/place before, the feeling of protection, something watching over me ensured me, c'mon dig deeper look harder, understand, it's not that scary. I was able to push through the overwhelming fear of understanding something beyond myself and was rewarded with feeling of absolute relief, joy and appreciation the likes of which I cannot express with mere words. It was as if I had reached another level. The shroom offered me paths to travel on (trip) an! d the one I chose took me to a gateway. Although I was tripping with a group, I knew none of them were with me, I had taken a different path. They wanted me to stay, they were scared of the places that I wanted to go, but I went, I left them. It was as if I was leaving my/their world for another place that everyone else was scared to go to, I felt as if I was I was leaving my life, dying. I was terrified of (the unknown), but I chose to go that direction, to let go (the option seemed no worse than life could possibly be, I was done here).
I wished that I had somebody with me, somebody to keep me company, to see what I see, to understand what was going on, but once I reached the 'pinnacle' I realized that I was not alone, and that somehow my best friend had shared the whole experience with me, although it was clear that he did not. It was all a part of me, everything was a part of me. It was all a delusion, but it really happened because it changed me as a person. It has changed me as a person, not so much socially, but more so internally. I am no longer depressed as I had been (beyond my knowledge) for such a long time, I understand things on a different level now, and live my life for what it is, not what I think that it should be.

I feel, like a different person. It is dissapointing that I cannot (in any remote detail) remember the experience that I had. I can only remember the emotions associated with it. It just feels like this empty 'blip' in my timeline that has deflected my life in another direction. Oh, this is way longer than I anticipated it to be. I could go on forever trying to explore what I can remember from so much that happened to me on that trip.

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Devil's Plaything..

I heard somewhere ideal mind is the devil's plaything. I liked it to the extent that during one of those excursions I decided to think about it. Devil's plaything sounded like some kinda baby toy and I imagine again and thats how I land up to this holy temple feeling the gifts of lord Shiva the destroyer.

It's a summers day out here and I don't pretty much like the work. The devil starts yelling again and I realise that he has been hungry since the unfinished business left in the night before. Being dazed in the afternoon is not everybody's cup of tea i guess. Esp those chosen ones the gifted ones (I know many) they are not gonna like it. They are afraid. May be they cant handle the speed at which you are travelling in these less travelled road in your thoughts. Coming back to my thing I feel every crowd has their little games to prove that they are punk or not? Ours was burning the buds on ourselves and not flinching at all.. :)

I surely think about the first time ever. I remember it was on one afternoon in August the breeze was gentle and I took it along. White ship disappeared in the wave machine that evening. My eyes just experienced some secret chains that the hidden ones threw on them. But fighter as they are they get eventually free. They felt like soft horses u can ride along the desert. It was like a long heat wave through my body. Any ache or pain or sadness or guilty feeling was completely flushed out. First, It was a Friday thing-a small habit. All of us became chippie small timers who would cling along anywhere and rest as they say is history. It felt so good that we start doing it on Tuesdays. Then Thursdays and then it got you.

So surely it had to get me someday and to this day this smell follows me wherever I mean wherever I go. So on this particular night i decided to be a fantasizer as I am. I decided to try out something. The wierdo that i am decided to shag it off under the stars. I liked it that way. My feet against the wall that was soft with summer warmth, the slight breeze that ran across my complete body especially my legs and slowly it rose between them. I felt an incredible power being naked under the dome of the stars while the whole huge, gigantic world is left dodging the cars and vehicles around . And believe me at the end of it all.. All I see is a massive ring of flames and a deep black hole.. U drift deeper and wooshh.. U crash..

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Tales of mere existence by a teacher

Guys this is simple been in this profession for two years I have realized that I have given shit to many teachers and professors during my days but being on the other side of the table now but being a believer that Traditions are something that you just don’t break I decided continue that. I will give shit to my students..

To start with I prefer students who are a challenge, who raise their hands (I wish they

could raise their levels too) on almost everything, who push me to do a better job (better on the scale of irritation level because I exactly know what shit is that guy gonna talk). Students who are mute, mellow, arrogant, or disengaged are missing the point of class, and it never annoys me because I believe in live and let live simple.

People never get tired of pointing the ethicality of the process wherein a teacher rates the students. No, I do not and I simply would not rate them because they are too slimy for me. The grades I give students are entirely about the work they do in my class. And yes, of course there are some students I 'like' more than others, but don't you imagine that any professional can separate the personal and the professional? (Even you guys know it!!)

Guys let’s just structure this whole thing up. Let me just get over with the dumb head parents first.

Mummy and Daddy believe Kumar is gifted and brilliant, wise and funny, soon to be making more money than any damn teacher every dreamed of (no wonder this bihari is on his path). The fact that Kumar won't read, write or think is just making their ass scratch. Kumar is so besotted with the monk that he can't find his way to my class any more often than 2 times a week. And I, have to pass his ass on to the next topic because of the endless - but subtle - pressure from every one above me. It's my failure, isn't it, if I can't grab his attention for more than a wink. No, Kumar's failure is all mine. After all, Kumar's parents paid the fucking 18 grands. The moment they give up the cash his parents feel that He's safe. The only one feeling the pressure is me. These parents sometime I wish had brains half the size of their bank accounts so that they could see – he is enjoying company of Old man more than anything else in this world. He idolizes Kurt Kobain and wastes his nights away smoking up and playing guitar. Tell me what the hell am I supposed to do?

Now lets start with the Niggers. These buggers are young and they feel that they own the world reading some crappy self help books.

· There’s a bitch I hate. She doesn't do her work neither does she lets some guys in the class do theirs. She dominates her group with talk about her evening plans and her boyfriends (as if whole wide world she is the only chick with hot ass and firm tits). She smiles sweetly in class and then ends up getting 3 corrects out of fucking 20. All she wants to do is complain, whine, and find a back door to a top B school. I'm sick and tired of it. All I want the kids to do is try and be true to their own selves. It's all I ask. I just want to see that they give a damn, and that they're willing to be a part of their own educational process.

Now here are a few more types I have tried to judge on various qualities.

  • · "Over smart fool"

Ability to Perceive: doubtful

Future career: general store accountant. (may be a mall clerk)

Opinion of herself: way higher than she actually deserves

My side of the story: Look darling Crying seems to work on other people, but not on me. The fact of the matter is that you didn't want to be late for your rendezvous with your some weird macho man so you thought missing some basic topics was an easy option (on top of it u already know Speed= Distance/Time), and u thought I was doped the whole time I was screaming my guts out in the classroom; and now you didn't like the score your result displayed. Next time I have a couple of suggestions: 1) get your shit together. 2) Don't tell your professor that the same answers got 100 on 100 in your Dramatics class.

  • · "self claimed Hollywood chicky"

Attendance: just enough to stay in the class

Intelligence: my dumb cat is smarter

Judgment: poor

My side of the story: This one comes once a blue moon and wants to leave in the middle of the 60 minute class, and doesn't realize that it is a interruption every time and I get pissed off. I'm sure you "had to" attend the auspicious puja with your "family" which must not include your own SISTER, who is also in my class and was in class that time.

  • · "Evil Product of the Evil Soil"

Hygiene: poor

Morality: low

Snarkyness: high Watch out for this one.

My side of the story: He'll cut you down with the authorities. He will become the pro bono pseudo leader and bitch about you with the management behind your back while smiling at you. He wants to be a politician and if all things are equal, he'll end up as used car salesman. Avoid small-group situations with this one or else be prepared to forget your objectives and follow a hypnotic state of daze and trance.

Well friends I tried saving best for the last:

  • "The Nitro Devils"

Some lowlifes with their eyes all droopy and red; Won't listen;

Won't talk; Won't raise hand; Won't raise voice. They are the Ugly spirits. They are Bloody evil products of the evil soil. No books. No notes. No pens. Sloppy, Off base, rowdy. All I want to scream is “Get some life son and Take out that bloody headphone out of your ears, Junkie!!!